Ode to. . .

No thanks, no more, no love
I'm done, I've had enough. . .
—lyrics from a Rachael Yamagata song

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This is one of my favourite poems. I couldn't remember who wrote it, just one line resonated in my mind: "the dog of my heart."

Love Without Love
by: Luis Llorens Torres

I love you, because in my thousand and one nights of dreams,
I never once dreamed of you.
I looked down paths that traveled from afar,
but it was never you I expected.
Suddenly I've felt you flying through my soul
in quick, lofty flight,
and how beautiful you seem way up there, far
from my always idiot heart.
Love me that way, flying o'er everything.
And, like the bird on its branches, land in my arms
only to rest,
then fly off again.
Be not like the romantic ones who, in love, set me on fire.
When you climb up my mansion,
enter so lightly, that as you enter
the dog of my heart will not bark.

I often thing of song lyrics in relations to the situations in my life. Unfortunately, most of the songs I love are super sad and/or sappy love songs/ballads.

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I should be in class right now. It started at 3:30. I guess I should go, just to sign the roll, at least.

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The opening reception for the photography show is tonight. I got compliments on my work from three people, including my teacher. That's cool. I'm not expecting to win anything, but if I do, it's a plus. Some nice prizes are up for grabs, and I could really use a new camera bag.

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Yeah, so I'm totally wasting time right now. I should go to class.

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I must make a valient effort not to fail photography this semester.

Michael

After almost letting it slip my mind, I remembered to go to the photo lab today to print the image I wanted to submit to the show that will be hosted by USA's Photography Association this Friday. I got the image printed, spot toned, and framed in a timely manner. I went to Wal-Mart to look for a 16"x20" frame, and I bought 2 for a little under $10 a piece. Not bad at all. I was expecting them to be way more expensive.

After I picked up the frames, I went to get a bag of dog food for the animals. I selected the usual 50lb bag, but when after I picked it up, I had trouble lifting it into the basket. There was a woman in the aisle, and upon seeing my struggle, she asked her son to help me by either holding the basket. The boy couldln't have been more than eight or nine years old, and he was about 4'9 tall, so I felt awkward for a moment having him lift the bag for me. Actually, he couldn't get the bag all the way up, either, so I helped him lift while holding the basket while his mom helped me move the picture frames out of the way.

The boy asked me what kind of dog I had, and I told him that I had lots (six, to be exact, plus 5 puppies). He said that he had just gotten a dog.

I'll always remember this little boy, and how kind he was for helping me with the dog food bag. I'm glad his mother is instilling in him such manners. Hopefully he'll grow up with such ideals intact. God, he was so adorable too, with shot cropped brown hair, rosy cheeks, and little freckles across his nose. Michael is his name.

My encounter with these two people was a nice contrast to this gay guy at the photo lab who tried to jank my hair. All I can do is roll my eyes at the thought. The experience is so ludicrous that I don't feel like recounting the details. All I know is that he like to resort to using expletives to express himself in an attempt to come off clever, but in reality it only makes him looked unlearned for not knowing how to express himself in a more enlightened manner.

But whatever. As long as there are sweet boys like Michael being brought up, there's hope.

Perceptions

While out with a friend last weekend, he told me of a art show featuring the work of a aquaintance of his. He told me that the work was mostly photomanipulations done in phototshop, and that he didn't think it was that good. Later this week in photography class, someone else mentioned the show, and someone who had seen it said that the work looked very professional, and they were obviously impressed with it's quality.

Now, I haven't seen the work, but I have met the artist. He's a fellow art student. I'm eager to see the work now, though because of the two conflicting opinions of the work. I wonder if my views of the work would be more in line with my friend, or my classmate.

---

I didn't know what to expect when I friend sent me this link on my facebook page. I cannot believe they actually aired this on the news. . .

Leprechaun in the Ghetto


All I can do is shake my head.

with maturity comes responsibility

Last night, I had one of the most elaborate and telling and involved dreams that I've ever had, at least in a very long time. I think it's been years since I've had a dream that was so layered and textured. The imagery was beautiful, quite memorable, extremely fantastic. . .and I"m trying to burn it onto my memory, because the storyline was absurd, but also very interesting. I'm pretty sure I can use many elements from the dream from a future storyline.

The events of a dream also acted as a mirror in which to see myself and my current desires. I got something I'd been longing for a long time, but after I received it, I realized the price is too high. I would lose a friend and gain nothing of permanence.

All I have are the memories now. They could be all I need to get over what I've been feeling for so long. It would be great if that turns out to be so. Only I can make it so.

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I'm thinking of submitting this image to a photography show at Satori Sound and Coffeehouse:



The theme is "Illuminations", and I think this image fits the bill. I'll have to have it printed and framed by next Tuesday, though. The entry fee is $10 and you can submit up to two pieces. I can probably only afford to get one thing framed, though. I had no idea frames were so expensive until I started thinking about submitting things to art shows.

I got a job!

I can barely believe it myself, but here's how it went down.

For the past few months I've been frequenting this new Chinese Restaurant near my home. My sister had been getting Bible based literature in the Chinese language, so one Sunday, she asked me to offer some to CiCi, who works at the restaurant. CiCi was very intrigued that we had literature in Mandarin, since neither of us speak Chinese. So, we chat for a bit, and she takes down our phone numbers.

Later, Cici asked me if I would be willing to take her to the mall one day. Mind you, this is, like, a week after I've presented the literature to her. So, I schedule to take her to the mall that weekend. While we're on our outing, CiCi proceeds to relate to me how she could tell that me and my sister were different from a lot of American girls, i.e, more conservative, to put it mildly. I was thinking that she had to be either really naive or an excellent judge of character to ask me to take her somewhere without knowing much about me.

A little while later, Cici, asks me if I could return an item of clothing to the store for her, and I agree. Again, she's placing her trust in me to return an item worth almost $40 and bring her back the refund. It was no big deal because I wasn't thinking of stealing her money or anything, but many people would. . .

So, time passes, and I continue to frequent the restaurant because their food is good, and CiCi is really nice. She has the most infectious smile and interacts well with her customers. Whenever I'm there, CiCi takes time to sit and chat with me. She really wants to practice and improve her English, and I'm all for that.

Today, she called my cell for the first time, and asked if I could come by the restaurant because she wanted to talk to me about something. I had no idea what she could want, but she had never called me before, so I figured it was pretty important; I just hoped that it wasn't anything bad.

I realize that I've given away the end of this little anecdote from the title, and it's that I got a job. Yay. My duties involve taking orders and working the register, and cleaning the tables, making sure that the condiment tray is full. And I'm making a decent amount above minimum wage as well.

I must say, I never thought my first real job would be working at a Chinese food restaurant, but wonders never cease.

ergo

I've been working on getting my new web site design up since last night. I'm having a few kinks with getting my blog to repost, since I changed some file folders. Argh. Hopefully I can fix it after this post. I can't exactly say that Spring Break has flown by, because a lot of things did happen, and I did get things done. Hopefully, I can stay on this productive streak.

Unfortunately, I didn't get any school-related work done. I totally should have chosen painting as a minor rather than photography, but it's kind of too late to change it now. Oh well.

a friend in deed

Well, today was an emotional whirlwind.

God, I don't feel like recounting every detail. Once again, I didn't go on the photo hunt, as planned. Let's sum up things from there.

• I didn't get to sleep in because a certain sibling needed me to accompany her out in early morning field service.

• After getting home, I only had an hour to prepare for my outing, so I couldn't really catch up on the lost sleep.

• Someone didn't show up, causing me much worry and frustration, resulting in memories of past scenarios of abandonment.

• I gave a gift, and was reminded of what a great friend I am.

• I signed a cast.

Though the day was somewhat redeemed, I'm still feeling quite blah. I don't know why. I need an escape. Sleep seems like the ticket, but whenever I lay down I'm overwhelmed by my own racing thoughts.

Comfort food might do the trick though. . .I just want to replace whatever it is I'm feeling right now.

Well, these pictures make smile.

You have got to be kidding me

So I'm not going be able to go on the photo hunt today. However, it's for a reason completely different than I anticipated. The weather is fine. Unfortunately, one of the parties involved in the proposed trip decided to take impulsive and ill thought out actions that resulted in a trip to the emergency room in the wee hours of the morning. I was informed of the situation via a call at 6:41 this morning.

Upon hearing this, I could only sigh and shake my head, once I got over the initial shock, of course.

When I got off the phone, I was overcome by a feeling of utter anger and frustration. Then, after trying to rationalized why I felt that way, because I didn't think I should having that level of intense feelings over the situations, I had an epiphany, and then the anger subsided.

At first I actually lay in the bed trying to think of how I could relay my emotions in my blog, but only a string of expletives came to mind. Consequently, I decided to find a more "enlightened" way to articulate my feelings. So, now I'm itching to share my thoughts with the aforementioned friend, but he's currently unavailable as a side effect of the massive dose of pain medication he was given at the ER.

I did, however, get drawing done like I said I would. I'm happy about that. I actuall managed to get a comic page mostly done. I still have some things to tweak, but it's progress, which is what I was aiming for in the first place. Wanna see?

maybe a snag

I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow. I'm supposed to go photo hunting outdoors, and a thunderstorm doesn't make for ideal shooting conditions. However, it's only a 30% chance of rain, with scattered showers predicted for tomorrow. Considering Mobile weather, it may not rain at all. It was quite forboding today actually, but the clouds cleared up by the afternoon. I'm not too hopeful for tomorrow, though.

I think link pages are awesome. If it wasn't for them, I never would have discovered the "secret" blog of a friend of mine. Muahaha. I put the link to it on my sidebar, but I'm not saying which one it is.

I seem to be surrounded by people trying to make their own distinct mark in the art world. Which reminds me, I probably should be drawing right now. . .

Lates.

Spring Break Plans

+ listening to: "Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge
+ reading: The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown; The Portrait of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

So this week is Spring Break and I have no real exciting plans. Well, at least, I didn't until today. I talked to my friend Kevin and he proposed that we go on a photo hunt in this park in front of a hospital in town. It's called University of South Alabama Women & Children's Center, where woman birth babies, so in the park features statues of kids playing and such. It should be fun.

+ listening to: "Wishing Heart" by Lisa Loeb

Also, Thursday I have plans to accompany my sister to Pensacola to see a mutual friend compete in a dance competition.

However, back to the thing with Kevin. . . I'm really looking forward to it. I was surprised that he asked me to come along. Well, actually I'm not really surprised that he asked me, since I am a photography minor, so, it would be naturally to assume that I'd be interested in going. I had been considering going to that very place and taking pictures, but I felt awkward at the prospect of going alone because I had never been there before. So now, I have someone to go with, to share the experience, so I'm expecting it to be lots of fun. I guess I was surprised the Kevin asked me to do something like that. Though, that shouldn't surprise me either, since he is into film (he's production manager at the campus TV station), and that's a form of photography.

Okay, so I've just established that I have no real basis to be surprised the he asked me. I guess it was just unexpected. But I'm happy he did, because, of the, you know, anticipated fun and such.

I'm so lame.

Anyway. I need to make this Spring Break as productive as possible. I have lots of work that I need to catch up on, schoolwise. I've got 2 photography assignments to get done, one of them late—as usual. I'm still going in for my internship on Tuesday to make up a day I missed the week before last. I also talked to my boss, Paula, about coming in more than one day so that I could learn more things and not miss so much between days.

I'm also scheduled to finally get my hair done on Tuesday after I leave my internship. You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to that. I need to remember to talk about getting some highlights in my hair, because, though I like the cut, I want something to spice it up. I had to hold off on getting them til my hair was healthy enough. Now it pretty much is. My sisters keep telling me how blah my hair is for someone who's supposed to be an artist, so I hope to remedy that soon.

Lastly, I hope to get some artwork done. I have more than enough time to generate a comic or two. I could get some character drawings done in the least. And I really need to work on a commission from my Uncle. I could finish it this week, or at least get halfway done.

It looks like I have a lot to do after all. Not much of a break now, is it? ;)

Medic. . .?

My goodness, I feel like I'm about to pass out. My body has been incubating some type of illness all day. The fact that my sleep patterns have been extremely inconsistent the past few weeks is probably what weakened my immune system in the first place.

I woke up Sunday morning with a runny nose. After the Kingdom Hall, I my throat felt kind of scratchy. So, when I got home my dad made me a tea totty featuring Jack Daniels. My dad asked me to prepare the tea, since it seems that as he's gotten older, he's gradually lost the ability to prepare any type of food substance. So, I make a cup of tea, forgetting that I was supposed to only fill half the cup with tea. Long story short, I end up with about twice as much a dose as I think I'm supposed to have of the totty, but it was pretty good.

Fast forward to the rest of the day, I'm pretty much sitting around browsing the internet and copying music onto my computer. I must mention that I'd only gotten about 4 hours of sleep the night before. So, about 30 minutes ago, I decide to make myself some tea. I don't feel like drinking another totty, so I figure I'll just take a shot of Jack, and then drink some tea. The shot wasn't bad at all, and not nearly as strong as I thought it would be. My dad said that Jack Daniels is an acquired taste. I used to think it was gross, but now I can see myself drinking a whole glass of the stuff, though it's probably not recommended.

Basically, I'm feeling kind of woozy now, but for some reason I can't drag myself to bed because I'm so used to staying up late. The fact that I can't breathe out of my nose without having to blow it every twenty seconds because of leaky nasal nostrils doesn't help to make going to bed right now appealing either. I know this really isn't good if I actually want to get better, so I guess I'll curl up with my copy of The DaVinci Code, and try to get some sleep.

Photo Dump

Here are some photos from the last couple of weeks.








Yay to the return of thumbnails. It took me a while to type all this code, and I don't feel like labeling everything. Oh, what the heck. . .

row 1: (1) Starbucks sign, (2) Wendy's under a cloudy sky (3) my cup of tea at the Starbucks in Barnes & Noble
row 2: (1) the Mobile, AL cityscape, coming back from Daphne, AL; (2) me, (3) me after letting my sister practice cornrows on my hair
row 3: (1) my little sister at Wal-Mart (2) my mutant McDonald's french fry, (3) my father, the pacifist
row 4: (1) my cousin Chloe—age 3; (2) Chloe, her sister Maria (32 months), and me at my grandmother's house; (3)my older sister, Crystal and Chloe
row 5: (1) clockwise left to right - sweet tea, crab rangoon, egg roll, pork-fried rice, and sesame chicken; (2) me and Kevin—model for hire; (3) driving through very spooky woods behind the university
row 6: that same night, after writing the previous blog entry, tired but content

2 am Saturday morning

+ listening to: "finally woken" by Jem

I know I should definitely be asleep right now.

I think I'm keyed up from the really great time I had hanging out with a friend of mine. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it. Ok, I'm gonna attempt to sleep now, because I'll probably fall asleep really easily after I actually get in bed. I'll write more about teh night tomorrow I guess. There are pictures and a short movie clip involved, so I'll upload all that stuff later today.

Night.