Wants and Needs

Schools out tomorrow for the Mardi Gras holiday. My little sister gets a whole week out. A week. For a religiously routed celebration?!? No wonder the kids never learn anything.

I'm in college, and we only get one day out. It's cool that we get out at all. Though Mardi Gras did originate in America in this fair city, so it makes sense that the administrators would go with the flow. They're probably be no one in class anyway.

So, I've been thinking about the two entries I have talking about my male guilty pleasures: Jason Momoa and Leland. I must seem like such the pathetic fangirl. I mean, I could just go out and get a guy of my own, but that's not working out so well, so. . .Yeah. At a family gathering this past weekend, my uncle asked me if I was dating anyone new. And I told him no. It has been over a year since my last relationship ended, so it's not like I'd be jumping into anything new. However, (how I love entries where I get to use however) I have a lot more important things to focus on and improve before considering entering into another potentially longterm relationship.

I'm about to graduate from college this summer, and then I'll be out in the job market. There's a very likely chance that I may move away from home for the first time in my life. I lived in dorms my freshman year of college, I'm from the town where the university is, so it was only a matter of convenience, as I didn't own a car to drive to school everyday. So, I'm presented with the very probable possibility of moving away to find decent work in the graphic design field. So, starting any kind of relationship wouldn't be the prudent choice. It'd only be an unnecessary distraction. I definitely have enough "distractions" already without putting another person into the mix.

It's an incredibly humbling experience to realize that your life isn't going to be what you thought you wanted when you were younger. A lyric from a Lauryn Hill song keeps coming to mind. I though what I wanted was something I needed." It isn't and I've been trying to reconcile that truth to myself for the past year and a half.

Funny. I have a friend who's kind of going through the same thing I was. It's really quite sobering as they act as a mirror, and I can see more clearly what I had wrong, and am able to admit things to myself as I see them progress through an understanding, and ultimately, acceptance, of their own situation.